Today I am wearing makeup. While I usually wear eye liner and a concealer under my eyes, this morning I added mascara. I combed my hair and added a hint of hairspray to keep these growing-out bangs under check.It's been said that when you're having a hard day, dress up and you'll feel better. I decided to test this philosophy today. When Lukas wakes up I'll put him in an outfit instead of the typical onesie and will do the same for Shane.
My parents are in the air enduring a too-long plane ride back to Oregon this very moment. I thought there may be tears but I didn't feel that kind of sadness. It's more of an emptiness...at the table where mom served baked goodies every morning, during lunch where we relaxed over rice and curry, in the evening where we played Blokus and sipped wine, in the bedrooms where they bounced on the bed with Shane, in the front yard where Dad messied-it-up in the dirt with Shane and Lukas slept snug in the sling. Their shadows linger in those now empty places.
I am wearing makeup and donning the kids in outfits instead of onesies today, not in sadness, but to remind us, as a perk-up, of not only what we had, but what we have in family. Thank you Mom, Dad. See you in July 2009.
3 comments:
I'm feeling sad and lonely for you this morning, my dear. I'm sorry for the painfulness in good-byes. I know my sis has experienced the same thing, and she doesn't have children, which adds to the sadness. I know you're thankful, but that doesnn't take away from the sadness. I love you.
I know how you're feeling and I feel for you, too. I'm glad there are good memories in the emptiness. Praying for God to fill you...
Ohhh...my heart aches for you. Those were surely precious times you had with your parents. My sister and her family live in England, so I can understand the distance...I'm just on the other side of it. I will pray the days get easier!
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