Today Shane was inconsolable if he wasn’t on the breast or on my chest asleep (yes, I just said “breast”). I’m sure, no I’m certain that there’s an author out there who would chide me for creating a poor sleeping environment, or enabling a habit in my newborn that may just never be reversible, or that I’m teaching him to depend too much on his mommy. Or something like that. And that’s okay. I’ve joined the ranks of rebels who are shelving their guilt and giving some credit to maternal instinct. Because today I wanted the warmth of Shane’s dependence more than I wanted his independence. I wanted his deep, consolable sleep more than I wanted another round of soothing that force Ben and I to “practice” and refine our techniques. I wanted his heaving sighs while he slept more than I wanted whimpering cries from a crib that cannot reach around with arms to console.
Yes, I did. I wanted to hold him forever
I could hold you forever,
You are bundled in my arms,
Your head on my chest.
It’s been a long day of soothing and feeding,
It’s been a long day with frustration with laughter,
With emotions surrounding you.
At this time in this hour at this moment,
though I beg, time won’t stand still,
So I’m enjoying us.
I’m told you’ll grow fast,
And although this memory will never grow wings,
Someday you’ll fly away from me.
Today I’ll hold you and suspend time,
Though, still, I could hold you forever.
I could hold you forever,
You are bundled in my arms,
Your head on my chest.
It’s been a long day of soothing and feeding,
It’s been a long day with frustration with laughter,
With emotions surrounding you.
At this time in this hour at this moment,
though I beg, time won’t stand still,
So I’m enjoying us.
I’m told you’ll grow fast,
And although this memory will never grow wings,
Someday you’ll fly away from me.
Today I’ll hold you and suspend time,
Though, still, I could hold you forever.
9 comments:
Libby, I'm so glad that you gave in to those maternal instincts and ignored the "experts". There are days that I'd give anything to have those newborn days back again...times that were filled with cuddling and nursing. We co-slept with both of our boys and they're doing great. They're both in their own beds now (most of the time) and I really do miss our family cuddle times. They do grow so quickly. Take any mommy/Shane time you can get. Cherish the time when you are the only one that will be able to meet his needs. Noah, at the age of 5, has already been exerting his independence and often tells us that "he can do it on his own." The times I "gave in" didn't make him any less independent and capable. Great job, Mom!!
Good for you rebel mom! We co-slept with our two youngest also, now 41/2 and 21/2. They are also both doing great and in their own beds. And like Jenn said, you won't always have that time, cherish it. I am so glad you are following your instincts, it makes those mommy moments so much sweeter. There will be times to confer with the pros' and you will know when it's time, even then you have many options and the Holy Spirit. You take care and keep on with the guilt free enjoyment of your precious little guy. You two are awesome parents!
Babies that young are not supposed to have independence, they are suppose to be dependent on their mommy, so good for you for holding on tightly to that little boy. i hope for his sake that you do it as much as you can. The only thing i think those authors are "experts" at is pushing their own agenda. Studies have shown that children who show confidence and independence were actually the ones who were held the most by their mothers when infants, not the other way around. There will be a time when schedules are important and bedtimes should be established, but not in the beginning. He needs your touch (and your breast :-) ) to feel secure in this world. Thanks for letting people in on your private thoughts, they are the same ones felt by so many of us moms out there.
Yay Libby! Your words are beautiful and empowering. I have wanted to suspend time myself SO many times. There is nothing like your sleeping baby resting with their head nestled in your neck!
Ok, I'll just say it.. I threw my babywise books in the trash. I have since learned that Ezzo never consulted w/ a lactation expert when writings the book and I also heard that his kids don't speak to him anymore. Of course, that is purely "rumor", but gives reason for pause!!
God gave us instincts for a reason, why should we feel guilty for doing what God created us to do: nurture, hold, and love?
Libby I don't think there is anything wrong with giving in sometimes. I think all babies need there moms. I now that I have spoiled my girls a lot. I still sometimes take naps with Courtney and she is 6. Sometimes they need it just as much as you. Plus I want my girls to know I will be there for them anytime anywhere. Des
Lib – you know best. Go with your motherly instincts. Plus, you’re not going to wreck him in one day!
Libby,
YOU are the expert on Shane. YOU are writing the book, doing the talk-show, and booking the world-tour.
Can I have your autograph?
:)
Libby, Hold him, hold him, hold him and never apologize. All too soon they become too big to hold like you would like, then you have to let them go and become little boys and then men. Hold him its your time.
Hi Libby,
I see my husband, Chris beat me to the punch to check out your site (he commented on the poopy post) :)
I would ditto Michele's post. It's good to hold your baby! You cannot spoil an infant 0-6 months old. Your instincts are right on! (check out attachment theory with all the time you have on your hands.) haha
Ahhh...my baby beckons... :)
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