Drop the Hanky

Blond hair, blue eyes, white skin. At one time in life, these physical features were my greatest curse for it separated me from the very people I wanted the most to be like—dark skinned, dark eyed, dark haired. From my earliest memories I was surrounded by people who looked different than I. Some were my teachers, others my care takers, and many, many were my friends. As a child I had no idea that I was any different. This is what I call innocence. Pure and green.

Among the zillions of attributes that make children glow, this is one of my favorites; the innocence from adult-world reality. The politically correct, ultra polite, wear-my-happy-face-mask of adults has yet to rob them. When children are happy, they squeal in delight, clap their hands, giggle controllably. When children are sad they cry, even if it’s in the middle of a crowd and there’s people in the crowd to impress. Most of the time they don’t try to hid behind a hanky even (scandalous) but let the tears drip, drip, drip. When children are angry they shout—instead of trying to find polite words that beat around the bush but still hurt others feelings. When children want attention they hang on mommy’s sleeve until kisses and cuddles suffice their need.

What if I burst out in “Jingle Bells” today because I feel happy it’s Christmas. What if I responded to my friends “How are you?” with honesty that might uncover a vulnerable vein in my body? What if I laughed real hard, what if I cried real hard and didn’t look for a hanky? What if I used my words “I need you” instead of pouting and assuming its known?

I want to be innocent this holiday season. Pure and green. Though there is very little in this little town of Hyderabad that reminds me of Christmas, maybe a little childlike innocence is the key to holiday spirit.

Jingle on friends!