My Two

Shane's head is buried in my chest. I comfort half-mad half-scared wails by singing a silly song, "The pressure cooker sings a silly song, whistle, whistle, whistle." This gets him snickering in hiccups. Lukas is hanging on my arm with wobbly knees as I sit in the kitchen. He watches his brother in great interest, wide-eyed and silent. The pressure cooker lets off another blassssssst of steam. Shane wails "turn it off!" and Lukas simultaneously bounces his thick thighs up and down grinning ear to ear. He is amused. Not at his crying brother but at mommy sitting in the middle of the kitchen singing a silly song. These are my two.

I prepare a quick cup of chai. The room is quiet. I peek around the corner. My 2.5 year old is playing pretend with his cars or turning the dog-eared paged of his favorite pastime, cross legged on the couch. My 14 month old has his hand in the toilet bowl or is crawling up anything his knees can edge onto. Or he's sitting on his older brothers head. These are my two.

Lunch involves ketchup and Shane's fry is"stuck" in the red pool. He wails (we're working on that) "Mommy help!" Encouraging him to fish it out, he finally does so sticking all other fingers as far up as possible as not to messy them up. I look over at Lukas and I see a red-sea finger- painting, swish swish swish. These are my two.

I did not teach my two these things. I never taught Shane to be particular about proper order or emotionally sensitive and attuned to the feelings of his parents. I never taught Lukas to size-up strangers before interacting, to fearlessly climb, to feel oh so deeply. This is how they are, these two, my two, from the same womb.

My challenge today is not necessarily the discipline of my very different little boys. I have a stack of books too high and I know what I have to do and I do not fear it (though it does tire the body and ache the heart at times). I understand that the sternness in my voice must vary from my first born to my second, that I must discipline differently according to their spice, but each needs consistency and tender love through and through. My question centers more around the why's and the tell-me-mores. I am in fact intrigued, absolutely, by their personalities with their sizable differences. I want to be inside the head of Shane to understand his tenacious need for order and tenderness, while also inside the mind of Lukas to see how his strengths will actually comes directly from that arched back, that strong will, that unquenchable dramatic flare.

If can get inside the head of my kids, yes with resources, but not without constant and vigilant observation, discernment and attentiveness then maybe this season of discipline will reap long-lasting results. That's my hope and God-fearing prayer.

There's a lot of work to be done. Let's get going you two.