8 1/2 months pregnant. I have no idea how it's possible at all that my body at this moment is shifting, rearranging, and preparing itself for labor and delivery. How did we get here? Where has the time gone? My body is aware of the change about to happen, and yet my mind still grapples with reality.
The whirlwind is as goes.
I am 5 weeks pregnant and the heart beats rapidly within my womb but it is small, so so small that another ultrasound is planned for a more thorough look. We decide to keep the pregnancy quiet as it's just days before we leave to the USA. News travels fast. We arrive in the USA and I am 7 weeks pregnant. I don't feel or look pregnant yet. The next three months are by far the busiest of my life. We travel, meet with friends formally and informally, talk about life in India formally and informally, vacation, eat, laugh, get up early with the kids and come home late, crash into bed. We are all exhausted.
Three months later we return to India. It's one month of transition from west to east. My second trimester is ending and I don't know if my fatigue in the USA was due to schedule or jet-lag or pregnancy. Was I craving as a pregnant woman or was I simply enjoying the food? It's all blended.
As Lukas begins to walk another explosion of personality is uncovered in both he and his brother. They now must share space and learn to lovingly disagree. Physical and emotional boundaries are drawn by all, something that is no doubt trying.
The holidays are upon us and I am in the final stretch. Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, New Years, my mom' arrival, Shane's birthday... and Baby A.
So vastly different is this pregnancy. No time for pausing. No indulgences of "one last moment" before babies enter the house. For they have already come and changed my self-indulgent, sleep-when-I-want, do-what-I-want world forever. I am more tired than ever before but how sweet and funny life is.
Baby AJS is going to join us soon. My heart knows and my body is ready. I can feel the shifting bones in my body. I walk but stop suddenly with shooting pains up my thighs. She is getting heavier. I shift my added weight, amazed that the body was created to carry it all. I am more exhausted than I remember of past and wonder how much more my body can hang on to her.
This is truly a whirlwind.
2 comments:
Oh, number 3 went by so fast! Life just does not stop once you already have two little ones, and the third usually learns to be wonderfully flexible because of it. We just celebrated Linus' first birthday, and I kept wondering what happened to his first year, moments snatched in between breaking up his brothers' fights and cooking and cleaning and trying to homeschool and sleeping.
Libby, you always have such a great way of expressing your thoughts. And I just remembered you have a little GIRL in there. How special! I look forward to hearing the news of her arrival.
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