The problem as I see it, is that I have to exist in this flesh. In this wretched body that's held together with nothing but bones and blood and skin. You crafted it all, I know, but I'd sometimes rather live in my heart because it's there that I am the most aware of your presence. And I'm just so easily distracted and easily discouraged. When I see you though, for who you are, it's a wonder. Oh how you're speaking. Circumstances haven't changed (yet) and transition is still very much our daily bread, but life from within is so alive. I'm so alive.
But when you and I are talking, it seems to naturally occur that I begin to expect more from you, and you begin to expect more from me. Your relentless devotion to your own fame includes all aspects of my life.
How selfish, how utterly God-like selfish you are to be made known through simple faith that (you promised!) can move a mountain (you promised I say!)
I know the world won't beat me down to a complete surrender.
In the morning while sipping black coffee, you answer me. I'm listening. Wait...He's speaking.
There was a time when I chose to close you off. I knew that you could do whatever you damn well pleased because that's exactly what you were doing. I prayed. Silence. Others did too. Silence. I suffered during that time. You chose to keep me in that hollow hole of suffering, but I won't end there. No, the story wasn't over at the suffering because you reached down from heaven surrounding me with your arms. Tender, tender Savior. Tender, tender Savior. I'll never tell The Story without mentioning your name over and over and over and over and over again..
Shameless. Persistent. I'm here at a place of vulnerability once more. This time I want a something BIG, and I only dare to ask (over and over and over) because just as much as you can NOT do it, you can also DO do it. You've proven to me that you can do whatever you damn well please. Will you then... will you give this, because You so desire? I question, are you that good? Are you that invested in my life to do something so great that I'd mention your name over and over and over and over and over and over and over again?
Falter. Pray. Hesitate. Anxiety. Pray. Trust. Do I trust? I am a work in progress. Just as my little ones cling to my feet, I sit on yours. Don't walk away! Don't forget us. Do you hear me? Do you see me? Listen over and over and over and over and over again because I am shamelessly as your feet over and over and over again.
Will blessing come in the morning?
You say, seek me and I will be found.
I'm finding you. And you're absolutely amazing. Over and over again, amazing.
But when you and I are talking, it seems to naturally occur that I begin to expect more from you, and you begin to expect more from me. Your relentless devotion to your own fame includes all aspects of my life.
How selfish, how utterly God-like selfish you are to be made known through simple faith that (you promised!) can move a mountain (you promised I say!)
I know the world won't beat me down to a complete surrender.
In the morning while sipping black coffee, you answer me. I'm listening. Wait...He's speaking.
There was a time when I chose to close you off. I knew that you could do whatever you damn well pleased because that's exactly what you were doing. I prayed. Silence. Others did too. Silence. I suffered during that time. You chose to keep me in that hollow hole of suffering, but I won't end there. No, the story wasn't over at the suffering because you reached down from heaven surrounding me with your arms. Tender, tender Savior. Tender, tender Savior. I'll never tell The Story without mentioning your name over and over and over and over and over again..
Shameless. Persistent. I'm here at a place of vulnerability once more. This time I want a something BIG, and I only dare to ask (over and over and over) because just as much as you can NOT do it, you can also DO do it. You've proven to me that you can do whatever you damn well please. Will you then... will you give this, because You so desire? I question, are you that good? Are you that invested in my life to do something so great that I'd mention your name over and over and over and over and over and over and over again?
Falter. Pray. Hesitate. Anxiety. Pray. Trust. Do I trust? I am a work in progress. Just as my little ones cling to my feet, I sit on yours. Don't walk away! Don't forget us. Do you hear me? Do you see me? Listen over and over and over and over and over again because I am shamelessly as your feet over and over and over again.
Will blessing come in the morning?
You say, seek me and I will be found.
1 comments:
LOVE, Libby. Thank you for sharing this. There will be more to this story that I look forward to hearing :)
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